This has got to be the worst experience in my life.
First, a huge thank you to everyone for all the emails, phone calls, flowers, cards, visits, etc during this week! I could never have gone through this without all of your support! And a VERY HUGE THANK YOU TO HUBBY WHO HAS TAKEN OVER EVERYTHING THIS WEEK!
This post is not for the weak…..so if graphics bother you, don’t read on.
Last Saturday I began to spot while I was scrapbooking at church with my friends. I went over to Urgent Care and had some blood tests run as well as a pelvic exam. On Sunday, no more bleeding…I just took it easy. Monday morning, the doctor’s office called and wanted me to come in to be seen. I went in and had more bloodwork, another pelvic exam, and an ultrasound. Date-wise I was 10 weeks and 1 day pregnant.
Blood tests from Saturday were showing my hcg levels to be that of a 5 week pregnancy. The ultrasound confirmed that.
On Tuesday, at work, I started bleeding again. Not much after that started, I got a phone call from the nurse saying that my hcg levels were actually declining, meaning that I was about to miscarry. I went home from work. Hubby met me at home, and I just slept on the couch, feeling defeated.
On Wednesday, I opted to not go into work as I was not sure when the bleeding would start or what it would be like. The cramps began that afternoon. Terrible cramps. I went in for another blood draw on Wednesday afternoon.
Thursday morning, I again stayed home. The nurse called me and said that I should come in on Friday as my hcg levels were not coming down fast enough, so she wasn’t sure my body was going to do this on its own. I set up the appointment, then emailed all of my friends……I wanted my previously scheduled spa party to happen that night! I wanted to see my friends and not feel like a leper!
Yikes. About 2:30 in the afternoon, the bleeding and expelling started. Holy Hannah! I thought I was going to die from the blood/tissue loss. I was on the phone with my nurse a few times that afternoon. They kept saying, “Be sure to go into the ER if you start bleeding more than a pad an hour.” Yikes! I had hit 2 in an hour between 4 and 5. I frantically called friends to cancel the spa party. (I am still bummed about that!) and had HUbby drive me to the ER at 5:30.
We sat in the ER until 11 PM! Ugh. It was frustrating. It was crazy around there, but it was really frustrating that the doctor didn’t even look at me until 10:30 PM! By then, the bleeding/tissue has slowed down on its own…but the cramping! Ugh.
Friday AM the cramping was again awful. I expelled a bit more, and was anxiously watching the clock for my 1:30 appt to see if I was progressing through this miscarriage enough on my own. The doctor seemed to think I had expelled most of it from my gory details (I’ll won’t share them with you, if you’re still reading). More blood tests will determine if my hcg levels have dropped drastically, like they should.
So, here I sit…Sunday morning in excruciating pain….bleeding heavily……waiting for the phone call from my doctor tomorrow morning to see if I will need the D&C tomorrow. Waiting games suck. (Not to mention cramps, blood, cramps, and more blood)
No one tells you about the PAIN……the blood……the “chunks” of tissue that come out. THIS SUCKS! Now when I go into the bathroom I just want to vomit when I see more blood… STOP PLEASE! Part of me feels like I”m back in the 1800’s….just “laboring” through like a wounded animal out in the red tent!
I know so many people who have miscarried, but I have never heard ANYTHING about what it entails…or how long it goes on…or how painful this is - emotionally and physically.
So, keep your fingers and toes crossed that I have “done this on my own” and won’t need the surgery tomorrow. But then again……add a prayer or two in there for these awful cramps to lessen SOON!
I’ll keep you posted!
Replacing all or most school staff who are relevant to the failure to make AYP.
